My Son’s Bike Accident: The Day That Changed Everything

Story Time…

When I felt called to start this blog, Living Reframed, I knew it would consist of part memoirs of my life experiences as a woman, wife, and mom, but it would also serve to equip and empower other women. This story of my son’s bike accident is a defining moment in my motherhood journey. I can draw a line and categorize my memories as before and after the accident. It all happened so fast, but I was blown away by my utter dependency on God and his word for my breath and ability to keep going.

A word of warning, though, please don’t read this story and walk away with fear. Instead, I want you to walk away from this story with a strengthened faith and a desire to reframe your parenting. As mothers, it’s impressive how resilient we are and how much we can overcome. Furthermore, our job is to instill fearlessness in our children and empower them to build self-trust. In other words, don’t wait for a defining moment like ours to hang up your super-mom cape and slow things down.

Grab some tissue and come with me on a journey down memory lane… (The quotes are the actual texts I sent out to friends and family.)

When My Son Fell on His Bike

It was a typical Sunday evening on October 23rd, 2011. We spent the morning at church, followed by an afternoon of soccer games. Andy was working, and I was busy making tortilla soup. Our five kids played games, rode bikes, and patiently waited for dinner. Around 5:15 PM, my 8-year-old, Corbin, crashed on his bicycle in the driveway. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary; he turned his handlebars too sharp and fell. Nobody was around; it was just him and his bike. When I got him inside, he was screaming in excruciating pain, and I did what most mothers of large families would do… I gave him a bag of ice and a spray of Bactine. I noticed a small circular shape on his abdomen, similar to the end of a handlebar. But I didn’t think much of it at the time, but that’s apparently where his handlebars rammed into his stomach.

About 10 minutes later, while crying off and on, he said he had to go to the bathroom and began throwing up. Right then, I knew something was amiss. Suspecting the worst, I called my next-door neighbor, who happened to be a nurse, and explained the situation. She very calmly told me to get him to the ER immediately. Thank God my parents live in the neighborhood and could come over and watch the other four kids.

According to this study, direct bicycle handlebar injuries are a significant cause of chest and abdominal trauma and morbidity in the pediatric population. In fact, they found that nearly 50% of children who had handlebar trauma sustained a life-threatening intra-abdominal injury.

Off to the Emergency Room

As I drove to the hospital, I saw Corbin turning green in my rearview mirror. I was stunned at how fast his countenance and energy levels were changing. We arrived at the ER around 6:00 PM, where Andy met us. Andy helped him out of the car as he started throwing up again and didn’t stop for a couple of hours. Finally, the ER staff rushed him back ahead of everyone in the waiting room and scheduled an immediate CT scan. Unfortunately, it came back with abnormal amounts of fluid in his abdomen, and talk of surgery began.

We also heard bits and pieces of them talking about flying to Spokane for the surgery. There seemed to be a high sense of urgency and confusion surrounding their plan for Corbin’s care. As we waited… and waited… for the final word on the game plan, we watched him lose more and more color, and the circles around his eyes darkened. During all this, we kept telling Corbin that this was no accident… God knew this was going to happen… He was not sleeping when Corbin fell… God was totally in control, and our job was to be strong and trust Him. Corbin always stayed so calm.

Sunday, October 23rd 7:05 PM “Hey guys. Please pray for Corbin. We are in the ER with a handlebar to the abdomen. He finally got an IV for anti-nausea and pain… He’s in A LOT! Can’t stop puking. CT scan came back with possible fluid. Most likely going into surgery in the next half hour. Will keep you posted. Thank you for lifting him up.”

The doctor finally came in and said he was going to do emergency exploratory surgery, and then once he was in there, he would know what exactly was going on. He suspected it would take around 2 hours with a 1-hour recovery.

Sunday, October 23rd 8:25 PM “Going into surgery in 15. There was talk of flying to Spokane, but they’ve decided to keep him here. Little C-man is a doll with all the nurses and had a chance to speak with his siblings. Still in lots of pain. I will keep you posted… Thanks for the prayers…they are strengthening us!”

Around 10:00 PM, Corbin went into surgery, and Andy and I left the hospital in a daze, driving around to find something to eat. After settling for Wendy’s, the doctor called right as we made our way through the drive-thru around 11:00 PM, just 1 hour after we left. He said he was done and needed to see us promptly. They informed us that Corbin had perforated his bowels and that his cavity was contaminated. He was in immense danger of having septic shock. The doctor removed a section of his intestine and repaired a tear. He also said that Life Flight had been called, and Corbin needed to fly to Seattle immediately to recover in their ICU. The risk was too high for him to stay in Missoula.

Time to Catch a Life Flight to Seattle

I called my girlfriend Heather to come down to pray with us. She called our small group, and Andy’s good friend, Marc, also came down. We were loading the plane in 20 minutes, so Marc’s wife, Abby, threw together a bag of extra clothes, food, a toothbrush, deodorant, etc. We also called my parents in a panic to bring a phone charger. I’m still trying to figure out how Marc made it in time, or my dad with my ever-necessary phone charger. Lifesavers!!

Andy, Heather, and I went into the recovery room to see Corbin just out of surgery. Corbin looked at Heather and smiled and waved to her. It was the sweetest little moment. We explained that he and I would ride on an airplane to Seattle…like a cool overnight date! He smiled…still quite drugged. Marc was there with us in the room as well. My heart was so heavy for Andy, but it was a relief knowing that Marc would be praying with Andy and driving him home. (As you can imagine, Andy was unable to drive.) I scrambled for cash, lip balm, contact solution, etc….not knowing how long I would be there.

I hugged Andy, and his whole body shook while tears streamed down his face. As my girlfriend, Heather, said, “I watched Andy age right before my eyes in that room.” This was THE HARDEST thing we’ve ever done. But I knew I had to hold it together as we said goodbye to Andy. I kept talking to Corbin about how his Daddy never took me to Seattle overnight for a date by the water…and how proud I was of him… how super cool an ambulance ride would be… I even took pictures of the ambulances and the plane. In my mind, I knew he would want to see the pics WHEN he recovered. I couldn’t think of any other outcome. So, I just kept repeating to myself, WHEN he recovers. WHEN we get to come home. WHEN he will tell his story.

Monday, October 24th 12:10 AM “Surgery is done, but there was a lot of contamination from his torn bowel. I am flying to Seattle with him right now for recovery. Please pray for strength for us… it’s gonna be a long week. He is a trooper!”

Monday, October 24th 12:16 AM “….In the plane now, please pray…especially for Andy. He’s fragile and exhausted. He is staying in Missoula for now.”

Monday, October 24th 12:19 AM “Hi in the plane. He is sleeping. Just at peace knowing my God is in control. Thanks, friend…you give me strength.”

Monday, October 24th 12:38 AM “Please help. I need desperately need a verse to cling to….”

From Patti…” Psalm 18:2… The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer. My God is my rock in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”

Monday, October 24th 1:40 AM “Water to my soul. tx”

The Flight to Seattle After My Son’s Bike Accident

The fixed-wing jet was barely wide enough to fit Corbin’s stretcher and a seat on the side. I sat facing one of his nurses while the other was behind me. I could hear the beeping of Corbin’s heart monitor (consistently at 158). Furthermore, I watched the nurse in front of me look at the nurse behind me. I saw them talking to one another with their headset, but I had opted out of the headsets for that very reason. I didn’t want to know the play-by-play. My heart rate was already so high, and I tried reading their lips and facial expressions every time Corbin’s vitals plummeted. I received scripture texts from girlfriends. I read, reread, and reread the scriptures. Not only that, but I wanted to stay focused on being a source of strength for Corbin.

The Emergency Room in Seattle After My Son’s Bike Accident

Once we arrived in Seattle at Harborview Medical Center ER around 1:00 AM Washington time, it was an absolute MADHOUSE. Luckily, the flight nurses warned me, but it was crazy. At least 25 people were in his little ER room, briefing, debriefing, explaining, talking over each other, etc. As I hugged the Missoula nurses goodbye, a grip of fear took hold of my mind. “I’m in a big-city ER with drunks, drug addicts, etc. all around me (loud, crazy, patients in our room)… all alone in a teaching hospital where my son is going to become an experiment, and I’m at the mercy of people I don’t even know. Again… Deep Breathe….TRUST. God is in control of Corbin, not you, not them…GOD.”

At least 6 people asked me the same questions …”Are you the patient’s mother? What’s your address? Is this your phone number? What insurance do you have? I’m a social worker. I’m the admin assistant. I’m a horse’s ass” – they didn’t say that, but it’s all I heard. Until I heard a gentleman say,” Hi, I’m Dr. Blablahblah, the surgeon.” At that point, it was like a Charlie Brown episode. The only words I heard in that room were what was coming out of his lips. The chaos and talking completely disappeared. He went on to explain that he was concerned about spinal damage because the force on his body was so great. All the images of that night ran through my mind… me helping him into the house, onto the couch, off the couch, into the car, out of the car, sheeted (lifted just by the sheet) onto a different stretcher at the Missoula airport because they didn’t have the right equipment for the plane, etc. Again, I had to put the brakes on my mind and TRUST.

Deep breathe….TRUST.

We got the clear on the spinal concern, and after almost 5 hours in the ER, we were admitted to the ICU trauma unit.

Monday, October 24th 5:48 AM “Finally out of Seattle ER and into the ICU. Took x-rays bc of fear of spinal damage…All clear. Now we wait and see how his body responds to the surgery. He’s on lots of pain meds and fluids. Gonna go shut my eyes. Don’t stop praying… He’s a tiny guy with a lot to heal from. I have peace…From the bottom of our hearts – thank you!”

The Intensive Care Unit After My Son’s Bike Accident

The ICU was spectacular. Corbin’s nurse was so accommodating, reassuring, and quite nurturing. I’ve since learned that the ICU is a 1-to-1 nurse-to-patient load. It makes a huge difference when you are their only concern. At this point, Corbin has been getting fluids through an IV, has an NG tube sucking fluids out of his stomach via his nose, has a catheter in, and is on oxygen and a lot of Morphine. If this was someone else’s child, I could not stomach it, but it’s my baby….I had to. Corbin seemed to be doing well in the ICU. He knew his Daddy was coming soon. We had a lovely view of downtown Seattle; best of all, they had a Wii! Yep, we played a lot of Wii in the ICU. He was in a lot of pain, but seemed to manage it well.

Monday, October 24th 9:38 AM “Looks like we might get out of the ICU tonight”

Andy was on his way out to see us when the car overheated on him in Alberton. We both agreed he should stay home, get a full night’s rest, and just come out on Tuesday.

Monday, October 24th 11:27 PM “So we moved to the reg ped floor earlier this evening. We are sharing a room with a 15-month-old burn victim and his mommy. No surprise, I was NOT looking forward to that. It turns out his mom and I kind of need each other. We’ve been whispering all night… I don’t even know her name. I LOVE her little boy, and Corbin has cracked a smile a few times at the sound of the boy’s voice. I love how God works!! Here’s the excellent news…Corbin has been asleep for the first time in 24 hours for more than 3 hours and is still asleep. I’ve been asleep for the last 2 and am going back now. Ahhhh, amazing what just 2 hrs will do for you. Andy has changed plans and will be driving out tomorrow am. This is good…I need him. Thanks again for lifting us up!! We’ll figure out the next step when his team meets with us tomorrow am. I’m super encouraged by what this sleep will do for his healing.”

Tuesday, October 25th 8:52 AM “Okay, ladies. When you get a moment, I need more scripture! I will be hunting down a bible today, but it’s nice to have it on my phone to read in the dark.

…..So last night did not end up going as well as planned. When he was first transferred from the ICU, the reg nurses didn’t seem like they knew what they were doing with his tube emptying his stomach out through his nose. They couldn’t get the connection right; it was hissing and wasn’t pumping. They “fixed” it, but I wasn’t convinced. So I called the patient advocate lady to come to talk with me. She was sweet and listened, but nothing was done. Shortly after, the shift changed, so I asked the new nurse if everything looked okay. (Nothing was draining as opposed to the steady flow in the ICU.) It kept nagging at me all night, so I asked if she could flush it. She said she could, and low and behold, it was clogged. Arrggghh!

I felt a little better but was concerned that it still was not flowing correctly. Very weepy, I went to the charge nurse, and she came in, flushed it out a different way, and also discovered the pump was not working correctly. I’m partly angry, part sleep-deprived, and deeply saddened for my baby. He is in so much pain and wants to cry but can’t bc of the pain. He is so sad. It’s breaking my heart to see him go through all of this. Luckily his team of docs told me the tube would be coming out today. I was ready to beg them to send us back to the ICU. With his tube coming out, that will alleviate tons of anxiety. Please pray that God will bring him the most competent team and continue to give me the strength to speak up. It’s very awkward telling someone or their superior that you have no confidence in them. I had a lengthy conversation with the new charge nurse today, basically telling her I wanted her involved with ALL of his care. She is super sweet and understanding and came in and talked with Cman and did some comfort things that nobody else had all night.

I miss my babies at home.

Thanks for listening/reading…I feel better already. Lol! My honey is on the road, and my God is STILL faithful! So with that, I’m going to sleep…”

Leaving the ICU for the Regular Floor

Needless to say, the transition from the ICU to the regular was not a positive one. At this point, he is off oxygen, and the catheter is out. Andy arrived safely, and my shoulders were 100 pounds lighter. Corbin received cards, flowers, balloons, and stuffed animals every day. When I read the cards to him, he made me stop because it made him cry when he heard them, and the crying hurt his incision. It killed me to watch him stuff the sadness somewhere.

Tuesday, October 25th 4:07 PM “NG tube is out. The dressing is changed. Daddy is here. Just in a holding pattern to see how his body responds. Still haven’t introduced liquids. We will take a break from updating texts or answering calls to just love each other. We appreciate your continued prayers!! He looks great!”

Unfortunately, that night, the nurse and I noticed a literal “bubbly” of Corbin’s skin in the groin area. His skin was blistering right before our eyes. A couple of hours later, it had spread down onto his buttocks. Luckily our unit was a partial burn unit, so everyone knew how to treat it, but not what had caused it. After the morning doc teams did their rounds, everyone agreed he had an allergic reaction to Medisol, an all-natural orange adhesive remover. It was applied liberally to aid in the removal of Corbin’s bandage that day. Little did we know, with the combination of heat and Corbin’s sensitive skin, that it would burn the first layer of his skin.

Psalm 138:3 “On the day I called, you answered me; my strength of soul increased.”

The above Psalm was what we read to Corbin over and over. He memorized it in the middle of the night and often repeated it to himself throughout his hospital stay.

Wednesday, October 26th 10:46 AM “We’re sitting up!”

Visitors in the Hospital After My Son’s Bike Accident

On Wednesday, Heather’s cousin, Pete, came to visit us along with Cliff, a pastor from Mars Hill Church. Pete and I have been in touch since we arrived in Seattle. He was so gracious to offer to pray with us and bring us whatever we needed. An offer I’m sure he regrets! I ran out of underwear and had an unexpected visitor while in the ICU. I was in desperate need! It’s a little awkward asking a man you don’t know to buy underwear. But I am forever grateful to Pete! Also, having him and Cliff pray with Andy, and I was empowering. Pete brought Corbin Bionicles, which ended up being the perfect distraction! Later in the week, Pete also brought me a bible with a few scriptures underlined that became solid rocks for Corbin and me to lean on.

We took him off of the Morphine, so he was only on his Oxycodone. Morphine was a VERY DARK drug. He was having reoccurring nightmares that he was falling on his stomach or someone pushed him on his stomach. It was also causing him to twitch violently, hurting his incision. He was despondent, depressed, and just overall not himself. The child psychologist met with him. She also took time to talk with me to make sure I was okay. Then, the psychologist and his pediatric team asked us if he was a high-anxiety child at home….if he was a stressed-out child. I couldn’t believe they were asking these questions about Corbin, my sweet, tender-hearted son. The only thing I could come up with was that he is my most sensitive child, and maybe that was translating into “anxiety” in the hospital. After what he’s been through, wouldn’t anyone have anxiety?? Plus, they had us in a shared room. Roommates would be moved in the middle of the night…lights on, chairs banging, people talking loudly…it gave ME anxiety!

Roommates in the Hospital

On Thursday, we received two new roommates…Kara and her daughter, Rowan. Kara had such a peaceful presence about her…we clicked immediately. It was great to have Kara and her husband, Lawrence, with us. They were fantastic support. Also, Rowan gave me such a beautiful distraction. I was able to walk her around the floor and get a break from Corbin’s room. I have no doubt God placed them in our room for a purpose…one I will always be grateful for!

Thursday, October 27th 12:05 PM “Corbin loves his new roomie, Rowan. I love her mom, Kara! He gave her one of his balloons. She’s giggling, and he’s in bed with his eyes closed, smiling. So sweet.

Last night was a little rough. Seems like the days are good, and nights bite. He did have a feeling of wanting to have a BM early AM. Got out of bed and walked to the bathroom with help. He didn’t, but we were still encouraged. The doctors came in this morning and said he was on the right track. He’s starting to touch the staples. Last night he thought they would be in him forever, so we had to reassure him.

I hope you guys are well. Love on your babes; I miss mine. 🙁 Talk soon!”

They assigned us a child specialist (in addition to the psychologist) to help distract Corbin from his pain. Melissa was in charge of the playroom, which included video games, an aquarium, painting, coloring, crafts, Halloween costumes, and special events to bring up the spirits of all the children on the floor. She also encouraged me to take Corbin for walks and gave me tools to handle his anxiety.

Melissa put together a sticker chart for Corbin to show him how much progress he is making. There are rows set up for taking his meds, walking around the unit, getting up to go to the bathroom, walking to the playroom, and, best of all…passing gas. Every time he accomplished one of these actions, he could put a sticker on it. I also put together a schedule for him with pictures. We are scheduled at home, and Melissa helped me see how vital it is to keep him on a routine at the hospital. His schedule went something like this…5:00 AM pain meds, 6:00 lab work, 6:30 surgery docs, 7:00 day nurse/vitals, 8:30 pediatric docs, 9:00 pain meds, snack, nap, 1:00 PM pain meds, playroom/craft, 3:30 vitals, relax, 5:00 pain meds, bath, snack, 7:30 PM night nurse, 9:00 pain meds, vitals, SLEEP, 1:00 AM pain meds. Phew!

Thursday, October 27th 4:16 PM “….We wanted you guys to know where we were at. He is allowed 6 oz of liquid daily and can get up with help into a wheelchair. There are audible signs of bowel activity, but nothing has passed. He’s still in an insane amount of pain. It doesn’t help that we are slowing down his narcotics to help aid in the “activity .”We basically can’t move onto the next step until then.”

He’s hanging in there. He gets very depressed and discouraged, but we’ve been working on memorizing Psalm 138:3. It will be a long road. Thank you so much for your support and encouragement. It means so much to us! Andy will be driving home Sat. C and I will have to fly home, and it could be up to 2 more weeks if he doesn’t have another surgery.”

Friday, October 28th 9:13 AM “Huge strides last night!! We all slept at least 5 hours (including our roomies Rowan & Kara) which is the most since we arrived. And the biggest news so far…he had “activity” this am!!!! So now we up his diet to full liquids and wait again. Thank you so much for your continued support and prayers!!”

Saying Goodbye to Daddy

Friday, Oct 28th 5:27 PM “….. It’s a very dark day in Seattle today. Even though c is progressing as planned, he was discouraged and anxious today. The doctors are having a child psychologist visit him because it’s a fine line between having him push through his pain to start moving and allowing him to rest. He’s VERY weepy and anxious. It takes a lot of energy to convince him to pee, stand up, turn in bed, take his vitals, etc. I want him to believe in himself and trust God. I have been a bit weepy myself and starting to get nervous about Andy leaving tomorrow. Plus, our roommates, whom we’ve bonded with big-time and who have brought us such support and companionship, left today. It’s amazing how much you bond in these circumstances. We have an open bed next to us, and I am scared of who will fill that spot. It’s pretty much a definite we’ll be here for Halloween. So there’s that too. Also, his doctors want him to fly home, so apparently, a social worker will come and talk with us when that time comes. I’m going to reread the scripture you’ve sent, but I’m just wondering if you could pray about those specifics. Feeling w e a k…Thanks, friends.”

Friday night Andy and I snuggled up on the same recliner holding each other, listening to Corbin’s whimpering and watching his tears. We both began to weep silently, not wanting Corbin to see us or have our roommates hear us. It immediately took me back to when we held each other, grieving in the bathroom 11 years earlier after the miscarriage of our first baby. Andy would later say that it took him back to when we lost Corbin’s heartbeat during labor, and he watched him being born colorless, with the cord wrapped around his neck. That was a dark night when God seemed to be very quiet and distant from us.

Saturday, October 29th 10:16 AM “Sorry about the ever-turbulent roller coaster of texts. Your prayers and His word are so strengthening!! So we decided to up his pain med, and I refused the lab this morning…wow. I have a bit of C-man this am!! We’re gonna take him for a walk, and then Andy leaves. I have hope and strength in my God!! Thanks, friends. I know life has not stopped for everyone else…I hope you guys are all doing well!”

Saturday, October 29th 10:23 AM “Moving right along. Now, we have more emotional hurdles than physical ones. He’s off IV fluids and starting to eat soft foods! Here is a video taken this AM. This was our first real glimpse of the real c man… :)”

Saturday, October 29th 10:43 AM “Holy Crap!!! Corbin just walked very fast down the hallway and sat down, watching the fish in the tank. I am in shock. All the nurses at the station were dumbfounded as well. Wow. Wow. So good!!!! My goofy c man!!!”

We sadly said goodbye to Andy on Saturday. I walked him out to the parking lot and realized that was the first time I had been outside since transferring from the ambulance to the plane and to the ER…6 days ago. The air felt so crisp and fresh. As Andy and I hugged, neither of us wanted to let go. I felt so sick to my stomach walking back into the hospital.

Sunday, October 30th 5:56 AM “If you haven’t noticed yet, my texting has become therapy for me. Andy left around 3ish, and everything has gone downhill from then. Corbin has been in an excruciating amount of pain. His new “foods” combined with that quick walk in the am along with a walk to the ICU to see his old nurse and a bath apparently left him with tons of gas. He’s been throwing up, not keeping his meds down, having diarrhea, and hyperventilating. We haven’t slept except for maybe an hour. They’ve ruled out another perforation; put him back on Morphine and IV Benadryl. We’re going to try raglan (anti-nausea) and his oxy soon. We are going to do an x-ray just to ease everyone’s minds. He looked at me last night and said he couldn’t take it any longer. My heart is not just aching for him; it’s bleeding for him. I feel like I’m helping an 8-year-old boy in an 18-hour labor. I’m BEGGING God to help us be strong. My girlfriend, Tammi, who lives about 2 hours from here, will come up.”

Dark Days in the Hospital After My Son’s Bike Accident

Sunday was the worst day we had. Corbin couldn’t urinate, refused to get up, threw up consistently, and started having nightmares again (thanks to the Morphine). We had put a catheter in him twice that day as he screamed at the top of his lungs, gripping my hands and contorting his face. He was in so much pain I was at a loss. I tried to lighten things up, play Wii, build legos, anything…he wanted none of it. Finally, we put him on an anti-anxiety medication, hoping it would relieve him. Luckily my dear friend, Tammi, had driven up from Lake Chelan to be with us. She held me, held Corbin’s hand, and prayed and cried with us. There was nothing else we could do. We both just watched Corbin in agonizing pain, and it hit us how incredible and unfathomable it was that God chose to allow this and worse to happen to his one and only son, Jesus. I will never be able to wrap my mind around that. I would have done anything to take Corbin’s pain away. But, unfortunately, it was becoming clear that Corbin was giving up.

Halloween in the Hospital

On Monday morning (Halloween Day), his surgical team sat down with me and said that they saw nothing else wrong with Corbin that would contribute to the pain we are seeing him in. They reassured me he was healing, not as fast as they would like, but he, in fact, is healing just fine. The pediatric team came in shortly after and gently told me that if a mom is one way at home and then suddenly different in the hospital, the child will instinctively keep doing what he did to keep the coddling mom. We also agreed to take him off all meds except his oxy. He was on Morphine, liquid Benadryl, Raglan (anti-nausea), and an anti-anxiety drug. Finally, the child psychologist sat with me and told me to get out of the hospital for a walk and then shower. She could see I needed a break and was not fairing so well. She, too, reiterated the need for tough love for Corbin. She sat down with Corbin and spent the morning with him while I finally let go of his hand and left the room. I cried out loud to God during the shower and begged him for strength. I knew what was required of me, but I had no clue how to find the power and focus on following through with it.

God’s Strength

After the shower, I walked back into the room, and the minute Corbin saw me, he immediately began to hyperventilate and cry in pain. I walked right out. 15 minutes later, I walked back in, and he started to complain that he would throw up. I walked out. I could see the confusion in his eyes. When I walked back in, I explained to him that he could no longer freak out, or I would walk out. He could no longer make himself throw up, or I would walk out. This strength rose in me that I cannot explain. I had so much love for him, too much love to watch him give up. The Holy Spirit guided me every step of that day…no doubt! At one point, he complained that he would throw up, so I walked out with him screaming my name down the hallway. 25 minutes later, I returned to vomit all over his shirt, bed, and face. I quietly explained to him that he had just set himself back…that he just threw up all the liquids we’d been pumping into his body. He can NO LONGER throw up like that.

As we went around the hospital, trick or treating, Corbin would whine and moan in his wheelchair, always complaining that he was going to throw up. The looks I got from other people when they heard me talking “tough love” to him were pretty comical. Luckily, Melissa was in on it and just kept smiling at me and encouraging me. At one point, one of the floors was serving their Halloween candy in a “throw up” bowl…I had to make a quick beeline out, distracting Corbin so that he wouldn’t throw up all over the candy!

Tough Love in the Hospital

After Trick or Treating, I sat with Corbin in his room and had a heart-to-heart. “I’m sick of being here. I want to go home. I can no longer watch you give up. You have to fight. We will fight together. It’s going to be HARD ASS work. (At that point, his eyes got huge because I cursed.) God is bigger than your pain. He will give you the strength to get through this. You have the tools you need to manage your pain…you have to use them. Let’s get out of here, please. I know you can do it. From now on, when you freak out, I walk out. When you give up, I harden up. No pouting, no complaining. These are the cards you were dealt; now, let’s deal with them. Got it?”

On Halloween Day 2011, I made a deal with Corbin that we would bring him home together! We had a great day. It was still difficult, but my mind was solid and focused. The pediatric and surgical teams agreed that we would give him 2 more days with the new game plan before introducing IV fluids and a colostomy bag.

That night I called Heather to tell her how excited I was about this transformation in my mind and all the strength I felt. I was thankful for whoever was praying that day because I could feel it! Heather then mentioned not eating that day, and I couldn’t figure out what she was talking about. She then told me that Andy asked her to fast on Monday and that he was fasting and praying all day. I had no idea. From that day forward, neither Heather, Andy, nor I could doubt the incredible power of prayer and fasting or God’s existence!!

Tuesday, November 1st 8:42 PM “First time outside…he worked so hard to get there! So proud”

Wednesday, November 2nd 11:20 AM “Woke up to a bright and cheery, “Good Morning, Mommy. I love you.” AND my Milk Dud supply is out…time to get this boy home!!!”

Wednesday, November 2nd 12:18 PM “We’re freshly showered and reading a book on the sky bridge. God has done an absolute miracle in C and me. His body is still not responding, but to make a very long story short, he and I made a pact that we would get out of here, and it will take hard work. So a little tough love and LOTS of supernatural strength (a result of a very dedicated daddy and all of your faithful prayers) later, we have a boy in wonderful spirits and ready to fight! We (Andy & I, his ped docs, surgical team, and psychologist) all agree that we’ll give his body a couple of days to follow his spirits. And they are flying high today! He’s off all meds except 1 pain med, and he is off iv fluids again. We’re hopeful this will continue. God has shown his faithfulness to us in real ways this week!”

Time to Go Home

Wednesday evening Dr. Winters sat me down and asked if I would like to go home tomorrow. “Me? By myself? Tomorrow?” I was confused. He said, “No, both of you. Would you like to take your son home tomorrow?” He told me both teams agreed that Corbin would only benefit from finishing his recovery at home. I was in tears…complete shock. God is HUGE!!

During our conversation with Dr. Winters, I was teasing Corbin saying, “Oh yeah, Corbin, it’s all about you, huh?” He replied, “No, it’s all about God!” The doctor’s eyebrows rose as he responded, “Wow…interesting.” Dr. Winters came back 15 minutes later and gave Corbin his surgical hat.

Amazing.

Thursday, November 3rd 9:14 AM “There is talk of going home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I frantically made arrangements to catch a flight home. Again, it felt surreal, scary, and incredibly vulnerable to take a commercial flight home with my son, who was still not completely healed. But, again, I told myself to breathe and trust the process.

While sitting on our plane, I heard a voice, “Jen Johnson!” It was Marc, our friend whom I hadn’t seen since we said goodbye in the recovery room in Missoula before taking off in the ambulance for the airport. He was on the same flight home! God, you are so good.

God Is So Good

God and I had A LOT to talk about during our time in Seattle. I was angry with him a few times, crying out with no reply. Yet, I was overcome with supernatural peace at other times. Overall, God was gentle with me and gave me permission to give up my “Super Woman” cape. He humbled me and gave me the freedom to let go of my children, allowing him to take the reins. It’s so easy for us moms to feel like we can do it all. We put pressure on ourselves to not miss any events, cook all the meals, do the laundry, make the playdates, do the craft stuff, volunteer in the classrooms, homeschool, etc. And If you’re like me, you also pile on a work-from-home business. We think we’re invincible. But we also want to protect our kids and do everything just right, so they’ll turn out how we think they should.

But it’s moments like these when you realize LIVING REFRAMED is taking an adopted way of thinking and turning it on its head. These circumstances cause you to question your past beliefs about life, parenting, and God’s role. Ultimately, we do our best and enjoy every moment, but never forget that we’re not in control.

Our God is one of grace and gentleness, patience and perseverance…all qualities He wants to bestow upon us. And qualities He also wants us to pass on to others. He taught Corbin a very early life lesson to fight, not give up, and know that God can give you the power to do so. I am forever grateful for the lessons we learned during this valley!

PSA

Please ensure your child’s bike handlebars have soft, handlebar grips and covers over them!

If you liked this story, you might like this story of my husband’s total gastrectomy.