This post is about the reasons to fight for your marriage; what an unyielding commitment looks like.
I often asked myself, “Is this marriage worth fighting for?” Maybe you’ve asked yourself the same about your marriage. Let’s face it, life gets exhausting, especially if you have kids; you’re left with even less energy and willpower to fight. The natural draw of complacency is real. I get it. Add that to the world screaming at us to live for immediate gratification and a “move on if you’re not happy” mentality.
But I’m writing from a different perspective… a REFRAMED view. And Mama, you MUST fight for your marriage. After 28 years of marriage, I’ve learned it’s not an option if you want it to last. But first, let’s talk about whom this does NOT apply to.
When to Not Fight for Your Marriage
I’ll keep it simple. Please keep in mind, everybody’s marriage is different. This post does not apply to an abusive marriage of any kind. Period.
Unveiling the Vital Reasons to Fight for Your Marriage
In a world where challenges and obstacles often test the strength of relationships, embracing unyielding commitment is crucial. Albeit, it is a dying characteristic. Take a peek at some of my most viral social media posts. There are a plethora of angry commenters asking how I could tell wives to fight for their marriages—spouting their endless opinions of how if it’s true love, there shouldn’t be anything to fight for. It’s unreal how we’ve accepted quitting and walking away as a norm, as if there is always one perfect partner (the one who wants to walk away) and the other is doomed never to meet their needs. It makes me incredibly sad to think if I had heeded their advice, we would never have experienced what we have now; an emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and physical intimacy as we’ve never known.
In this blog post, I explore the compelling reasons that inspire couples to fight for their marriages. Through this journey, we’ll uncover the profound significance and rewards that await those who persevere. Next, discover the transformative power of fighting for your marriage and the great love that can emerge. Finally, let’s dive into why your marriage deserves your unwavering dedication and determination.
Embracing Unyielding Commitment for a Lasting Partnership
Despite the challenges that may arise, there are numerous reasons to keep fighting for your marriage. When faced with difficulties, it’s important to remember the profound bond you share with your partner and the commitment you made to one another. Your marriage is worth fighting for because it represents the union of two individuals who have chosen to navigate life together. You have built a foundation of love, trust, and shared experiences through the highs and lows. By persevering, you can overcome obstacles and grow stronger as a couple.
Additionally, fighting for your marriage demonstrates your resilience, dedication, and belief in the power of love. It allows you to prioritize the well-being of your relationship and work towards a future filled with happiness, fulfillment, and mutual support. Remember, every challenge you face (and face them, you will!) is an opportunity for growth and deepening the connection with your spouse. By deciding to fight for your marriage, you are investing in a partnership that has the potential to withstand anything that comes its way.
Unyielding Commitment: Reasons to Fight for Your Marriage
Reason 1: Unconditional Love
The bond you share with your spouse is worth fighting for because it’s unique. Unconditional love is rare, and it’s a verb, not a noun. In other words, it requires action. It goes beyond the surface and transcends the obstacles and imperfections that may arise. One real source of strength for me to love my husband unconditionally is rehearsing God’s unconditional love for me. And it’s POWERFUL to tap into that strength and show another human spirit what unconditional love can do for them.
It means loving your partner for their strengths and flaws, embracing their vulnerabilities, and standing by their side through thick and thin. This love creates a safe, nurturing environment where individuals can grow, heal, and evolve. It provides a sense of belonging, a deep connection that offers solace and reassurance, even during the most trying times. It surpasses challenges, disagreements, and imperfections, offering a profound sense of acceptance and security.
Reason 2: Shared History
The memories and experiences you’ve built together are valuable and worth preserving. From the early stages of your relationship to significant milestones, every moment contributes to a unique story exclusive to your marriage.
Reason 3: Emotional connection
The deep emotional connection you’ve formed with your spouse is irreplaceable. However, understanding, empathy, and emotional support create profound intimacy and closeness. For more ways to increase emotional intimacy, check out this post.
Reason 4: Companionship
Your spouse is your partner, best friend, and confidant. They are there to share life’s joys and sorrows, providing companionship and a source of comfort.
Reason 5: Growth and Personal Development
Being in a committed relationship provides an opportunity for personal growth and development. Your spouse can challenge you to become a better version of yourself, encouraging you to pursue your passions and achieve your goals.
Reason 6: Support System
Your spouse can offer unwavering support during life’s ups and downs. They are there to cheer you on, provide a listening ear, and offer guidance and encouragement when you need it most.
Reason 7: Building a Family Legacy
If you have children, fighting for your marriage means providing them with a stable and loving family environment. It creates a foundation of love and security for your children to flourish and grow. It also shows them how to fight for what is important. Our children know we have arguments, and we gave examples of how to work through them, forgive, and move on. These are life skills this generation is missing. Furthermore, when I was ready to give up on my marriage, I promised I would be able to look my children in the eyes and tell them I gave it everything I had. Your children deserve that as well.
Reason 8: Share Goals and Dreams
Your marriage is a partnership where you can work together to achieve your dreams. You can support and motivate each other by aligning your aspirations and bringing your visions to life.
Reason 9: Intimacy
The physical and emotional intimacy you share with your spouse is worth fighting to maintain—a unique connection fosters trust, vulnerability, and deep satisfaction. And over time, if you continue to feed your marriage by dating weekly, etc., that trust will deepen. It IS possible to experience a level of uninhibited trust and intimacy that grows over time. But, if you’ve experienced a breach of that trust within your marriage as we have, I want you to know your marriage is worth fighting for and rebuilding that trust is possible! Click here for ways to reignite your intimacy. Also, taking our Couples Intimacy Assessment will help you know where to start on rebuilding intimacy in your marriage!
Reason 10: Financial Stability
A strong marriage often leads to better financial stability and security. By pooling resources, making joint financial decisions, and supporting each other’s financial goals, you can create a solid foundation for your future.
Reason 11: Learning to Compromise
Being in a marriage teaches you the value of compromise and understanding. It requires finding common ground, considering each other’s needs, and working towards mutually beneficial solutions.
Reason 12: Shared Values
Your marriage is built on a foundation of shared values worth preserving. These values guide your decisions, shape your priorities, and provide a sense of alignment and harmony.
Reason 13: Emotional Support
Emotional support refers to the understanding, empathy, and comfort your spouse provides during challenging times. It involves being there for each other, listening, and offering encouragement and reassurance. During difficult times, your spouse can be your rock. They provide a safe space to express your feelings, lend a listening ear, and offer guidance, helping you navigate life’s difficulties.
Reason 14: Building Trust
Rebuilding trust in a marriage takes time and effort, but it is worth fighting for. Trust is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship, fostering honesty, reliability, and security.
Reason 15: Rediscovering Passion
Working on your marriage can help reignite the passion and excitement you once shared. It involves exploring new experiences, nurturing romance, and prioritizing quality time together. Click here for ways to rediscover your passion!
Reason 16: Friendship and Laughter
Your spouse is your partner in crime, someone to share laughter and joy with. Cultivating friendship and humor within your marriage adds lightness and enjoyment to your shared journey.
Reason 17: Emotional Security
Emotional security refers to the sense of safety and stability within the relationship. It encompasses feeling secure in expressing emotions and knowing that your partner will provide a supportive and non-judgmental environment. A strong marriage provides emotional security and a sense of belonging. It is a haven where you can be vulnerable, be yourself, and find solace in times of distress.
Reason 18: Weathering Storms Together
Going through tough times with your spouse strengthens your bond. Facing challenges as a team fosters resilience, trust, and a deeper appreciation for the support you provide each other.
Reason 19: Creating a Legacy
Your marriage is a legacy that can inspire future generations. By nurturing a loving and committed relationship, you set an example for your children and leave a lasting impact on those around you.
Reason 20: Learning Forgiveness
Forgiving and being forgiven are essential aspects of a healthy and thriving marriage. It involves letting go of past hurts, embracing empathy, and embracing a renewed sense of understanding and compassion.
Reason 21: Personal Fulfillment
Working on your marriage can lead to personal fulfillment and purpose. Investing in your relationship creates a fulfilling and meaningful life together, unlocking your potential for happiness and growth.
These reasons highlight the value of fighting for your marriage and remind you of the positive aspects and rewards that come with it. In addition, they provide a strong foundation for nurturing and strengthening your relationship, even during challenging times.
Embracing a Bright Future: Concluding Thoughts on the Reasons to Fight for Your Marriage
In conclusion, your marriage is a precious bond worth fighting for. But, on the other hand, you might feel like your marriage is too far gone, and there is nothing worth fighting for. When I felt like that, I needed a list like this… a reminder of why I needed to fight for my marriage. And I could have benefited from someone correcting me gently. So, with all the love I have in me, picture me grabbing your hands and looking you in the eyes and saying lovingly, “You might be wrong.”
By embracing the twenty-one powerful reasons we’ve explored, you can reignite your resolve, rebuild trust, nurture emotional connection, weathering any storm that comes your way. Remember, no relationship is perfect, but the willingness to fight for your marriage sets it apart. Embrace the challenges as opportunities for growth, communicate openly and honestly, seek professional help when required, and never underestimate the power of love, commitment, and resilience. Your marriage is a journey worth investing in, and by staying dedicated to each other and these powerful reasons, you can create a fulfilling and lasting partnership that withstands the test of time. So, take these insights to heart, and let them guide you as you fight for the love and happiness you deserve.
Added Bonus: Interesting Divorce Facts from Forbes Advisor
These divorce facts are more reasons to fight for your marriage.
Lack of Commitment Is the Most Common Reason for Divorce
75% of individuals and couples cited lack of commitment as the reason for their divorce. This is the most common cause of divorce, exceeding even infidelity. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24818068/
Couples Who Marry Before Age 32 Experience Lower Divorce Rates
There is a sweet spot regarding marital age for those looking for the least risk of divorce. That’s because couples who marry at 25 are 50% less likely to divorce than couples who marry at 20—but for those who marry after age 32, divorce rates increase by 5% per year until they are wed.https://ifstudies.org/blog/want-to-avoid-divorce-wait-to-get-married-but-not-too-long/
How Many Marriages End in Divorce?
So, what about the famous statistic that half of marriages end in divorce? That’s true, but only when it comes to first marriages, half of which are dissolved. Second and third marriages fail at a far higher rate. https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/#sources_section
When Do Couples Divorce?
The average length of marriage before divorce is eight years. https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/#sources_section
Couples Who Live Together Before Marriage Are More Likely to Divorce
Living together before marriage is one predictor of the likelihood of divorce. 57% of couples who did not cohabitate before marriage had a union that lasted 20 or more years, compared with just 46% who did live together before tying the knot. https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/#sources_section
Many factors could explain this, including couples with stronger religious beliefs may be less likely to live together before marriage and less likely to divorce.
I am a coach, writer, and speaker.