How to Tell My Husband I Love Him in a Letter

Have you ever wondered how to tell your husband you love him in a letter? 

Congratulations on taking this step in your marriage. There’s something magical about expressing your love for your husband in this old-school way. They’ll feel appreciated and loved, and you’ll grow in your affection and desire. It will also deepen your respect for your husband. And you don’t need a special occasion to write your husband a love letter!

I’m excited for you! This is not like every other love-letter-writing post. I have a unique exercise planned to walk you through every facet of who your man is. When he feels seen to his core? It’s the most beautiful gift you can give the love of your life!

Why Write a Love Letter to Your Husband

When we first meet our life partners, the love flows easily. We write sweet love letters without even thinking. Our whole world revolves around them, and there is not a passing day we don’t long to be by their side.

But just like in nature, nothing stays the same. You’re either growing or declining, and your relationship is no different. Marriage is not easy, and it doesn’t come naturally. It requires work, forgiveness, and a relentless resolve to stay committed to the vows you promised before God. That is true love.

When we’re feeling out of sync in our marriage, I implement a secret weapon: think about, marinate in, and speak on the things I love about my husband. Things like; what I first fell in love with, areas he’s grown in, and something I hope never changes! Opening your heart to the man he is, thinking about your memories, and dreaming of your future is POWERFUL!

This post is designed to leave you with a beautiful love letter for your spouse AND grow and expand your love for them in the process!

Set the Scene and the Mood Before Jumping into How to Tell Your Husband You Love him in a Letter

In the hustle and business of life, telling your husband you love him in a romantic love letter is an investment worth every minute spent. But before jumping into the how-to’s, we first need to get our mood and mindset in the right spot. Life can sometimes feel chaotic and confusing, and we can easily forget what our husbands mean to us. However, this entire process will grow your love for your husband tenfold.

If this is your first time writing a letter or it’s been a while, a blank page can feel intimidating and sometimes leave you paralyzed. (Even though I write for a living, it happens to me often!) But these ideas will jump-start your heart and clarify what to focus on. At the end of this post, you will need more paper for everything you want to express to your husband! So here are some ideas to get your heart and mind in the right spot:

• Light candles
• Play soft music
• Find a comfortable place to write, free from distractions
• Spend 5-10 minutes with your eyes closed, focused on breathing.

Think Before You Write

When I think about how to tell my husband I love him in a letter, my mind immediately goes to the most recent surface things. Hmmm… let’s see. Yes, he’s the love of my life, but I loved when he folded the clothes last night and did the dishes without me asking. LOL! But that’s why it’s essential to think about what you really want to say. Then, think about how you want your partner to feel after they read it.

Do not rush into writing a love letter! Remember, this process is sometimes more for you than for them. However, it will be worth taking your time.

• Read through your journal to trigger memories of when you felt the most grateful.
• Is he your best friend?
• Have you been through difficult times?

Oh! And speaking of that… A word of caution, please do not have expectations of your husband about how he should react or respond to your love letter. This letter is about expressing your love and appreciation, not trying to manipulate or get something from him. As women, we sometimes do things to show our love, but with high expectations in return.

Be Ready to Get Vulnerable When You Tell Your Husband You Love Him in a Letter

When I focus on how to tell my husband I love him in a letter, it can feel scary. It’s easy to overthink and try to find the perfect way to convey the right words, but sharing your true feelings is essential.

Furthermore, depending on where you’re at in your marriage, you might be dealing with hurt, bitterness, or even anger. Being honest can make you feel exposed and vulnerable to even more hurt. You might think, “What if I put myself out there, and my husband doesn’t feel the same?” Or “What if he doesn’t appreciate it?”

Remember what I said in the previous paragraph? This is for you, friend. This is part of loving without expectations. No need to hang back or hesitate out of fear—say what needs to be said.

Dear Husband

First, start with why you’re writing your husband a love letter. Why is he the most important person to you?

• Is he your best friend?
• Have you been through difficult times?
• Have you both been working a lot lately?
• When was the last time you wrote him a love note?

At the end of the day, how do you want your husband to feel after reading your sweet love letters?

The Difference Between Temperament, Character, and Personalities

You’ve established the mood and some areas to focus on when writing your husband a love letter. You also started an intro as to why you’re writing him.

Now we get to jump into the meat of the letter. In this powerful exercise, we will focus on three main areas about your spouse; temperament, character, and personality. But first, let’s dive deeper into some psychology and discuss these three areas.

(Hang in there with me… this section is so much more about growing and healing your marriage than letter writing!)

Their personality represents who they are. They are the total of their inherited traits, natural inclinations, and beliefs.

Their personality also changes and adapts constantly. But it began with their inborn temperament.

Character is also an aspect of their personality. It can affect their lives in ways, such as work, social circles, and activism. Many of their life choices are influenced by it.

You can think of character as their essence and personality as how they express that essence. So they’re interconnected in this way.

Put simply:

• Temperament is present at birth.
• Character is what we develop and is based on our core values.
• Personality is how we express our temperament and character in everyday life.

Describe What You Love About Their Temperament

Let’s start with temperament. What aspects of your husband’s personality do you love that he was born with? These are things that are part of his biology.

Go back and think about what you first noticed about how you felt about him.

In psychology, temperament refers to your disposition and tendency to behave in specific ways.

For example:

• overall energy levels
• adaptation to change
• curiosity
• inhibition
• emotional responsiveness
• demeanor
• mood

Describe What You Love About Their Character

Now we’ll dive into your husband’s character. A person’s character represents their ethical, moral, and social beliefs.

Some examples of character traits include:

• honesty
• loyalty
• generosity
• ambition
• integrity

How have you seen their character evolve, and what do you love about it today?

Describe an example of when they made others feel a certain way. (What others say about them.)

Describe What You Love About Their Personality

Now we’ll focus on his personality. Throughout life, your husband’s personality shows up in his thinking and behavior. For example, the people he chooses to hang out with, the music he listens to, or how he behaves in work meetings versus social gatherings all reflect his personality.

• Some examples of personality traits include:
• Extravert: talkative, energetic, assertive, and outgoing
• Self-conscious or shy, intelligent, humorous, more realistic
• Meticulous: Punctual, detail-oriented
• Sociable: Friendly, self-controlled, integrity & team spirit
• Independent: Healthy sense of self, sound self-esteem, establish boundaries easily

How has his personality evolved, and what do you love about it today?

Tell Your Partner What They Mean to You

You’ve written about who your husband is and how he’s grown and changed. So now, let’s open up to your husband about how he makes you feel.

How has his character, personality, and temperament changed you and your family? How have YOU evolved and grown because of those things?

Relive Some of Your Favorite Memories Together

Watching old home videos with our kids is one of our favorite things. There’s something special about reliving old memories. In addition to solidifying memories, it brings back nostalgic feelings. Pick 1-2 memories that stand out in the last decade of your marriage, using the five senses in your description. A sense-based story relays events as they were seen, heard, smelled, tasted, and touched.

Describe One Moment You Felt Most Grateful for in the Last Month

Think back to the last month. Describe a moment you were grateful for your husband’s love.

Close the Letter Warmly

When closing your letter, don’t forget to say “I Love You.” Include any special saying you consistently say to each other or something you used to say. You can also add a new saying you’re now committed to using to represent a new season!

Things to Think About When Telling Your Husband You Love Him in a Letter

Here are some key points to remember in this process:

• Remember that you can cover a few of these topics in your love letter or all. So don’t overcomplicate it; use the ones you want to include. Furthermore, you can break up these exercises to create a few short love notes. But let me challenge you… If there is an exercise above you, feel yourself shying away from… DO IT! Run towards it and embrace those feelings! There is a reason, my friend!
• Keep everything positive. There is a better time to mention things that have changed that you’re not happy about. (Obviously…)
• The best love letters do not use generic statements like “you’re so nice” or “you’re so good-looking.” Those are things other people say. Your marriage goes so much deeper than surface qualities. So instead, focus on the things that make your heart sing and will last the test of time.
• Avoid focusing on their body or physical features. I always joke about how sexy my husband is at the end of my love letters, but that’s not the focus of the letter, and it’s intrinsic sexy, not 6-pack ab sexy.
• When delivering your love letter, getting the emotional timing right is imperative so your husband will be receptive to reading it.

In Closing on How to Tell My Husband I Love Him in a Letter

What makes writing a love letter so romantic? Today’s society is all about “quick, fast, and in a hurry.” That’s what makes letter writing unique. This is a permanent testament to your love that won’t disappear in a long text thread.

A love letter is one of the most enduring examples of true romance. But this isn’t just about romance, but knowing your lover thinks of you even when they aren’t around. Furthermore, it shows how much you care about them, what makes your relationship unique, and what makes them special to you.

A love letter lets your partner see themselves through your eyes, reinforcing how God sees him. It also speaks to the man you know he is deep down inside and the man God intended him to be.

Lastly, this letter grows YOUR adoration for the man you vowed to love for the rest of your life.